sassy today

I have a bit of a request, my dear friends. I, like many, would like another Sassy Magazine. I cannot claim to have read it in my days of youth, so excuse me if I sound overly whiny when maybe some other people who are reading this miss Sassy way more than I do. My plea comes not from nostalgia (obviously I didn't grow up with Sassy,) but from someone who is 13 years old and while fancy fashion magazines are nice they don't always catch my drift and I sometimes have the tendency to be a teenage girl, a lot, and I would like a funny, sassy (GET IT? SASSY? In case you do not get it I used the word "sassy" because the magazine was called "Sassy." But that is a kind of intellectual joke so you may not understand because it was very subtle and clever.) that catches my drift but can catch other people's drifts too and isn't exclusive to one stereotype or to pleasing advertisers or anything stoopid like that.

Sassy was awesome. It called out celebrities and politicians for being assholes, educated its readers on politics without sounding biased, and focused on fashion in a way that was unconventional. It was lipstick feminism for teenage girls, covering sexist issues but not discouraging having fun with makeup or caring about boys. It included R.E.M. records as opposed to the perfume scents of today's teen magazine pages. Also, this Thurston Moore advice column is maybe the best thing ever.

I’m a lonely 14 year-old. I’m not pretty, outgoing or interesting. Why do guys only like beautiful girls? Anonymous

Thurston says: Because the majority of guys are too stupid and insensitive to realize a person like you may possess qualities of beauty. Become aware of what’s beautiful within you and cultivate it. Don’t be afraid of men. Be true to yourself, and hopefully an honest love will come your way. The more you have confidence and belief in your own beauty, the more likely this is to happen.

Oh my God! Why isn't anyone telling me these things! It would be really nice if someone told me these things! It would be really nice if someone told me these things as opposed to telling me how to dorkily incorporate cafeteria food into flirtatious encounters with crushes! Especially if this person was Thurston Moore!

It would be really nice if someone could give me cool DIY ideas, too!And if they could poke a bit of fun at themselves and their cover star!I mean, I can think of a number of times that Kristen Stewart has looked less than excited to be on the cover of a magazine, but ignore the fact that she is obviously sort of out of it or maybe angry! Read about how down to earth she is because she bites her lip! And see her movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately, I can't have another Sassy. The world this magazine inhabited in the early 90's was about DIY. For the teen generation twenty years later, the convenience of technology has overthrown most do-it-yourself tactics. And, of course, the 90's had different icons and role models for teens than the 2010's. I mean:...

Yeah, I realize this is a bad comparison, it's not like people talk about Miley and Liam as outsiders teenagers entrust with their angst, something that also helped define the pages and readership of Sassy. So who today is against the grain?

"First of all when I was young there were juvenile delinquents and there were beatniks; then there were hippies, then there was punk, then there was grunge, then there was gangsta. Well what is it now? Nothing! Come up with something! Get busy! It’s your duty!" -John Waters to RUSSH Magazine

I'm sorry John Waters but I don't know if we can! Anything underground catches on too quickly because of the internet, and is soon enough something to make into a product, create a cultural stereotype around, or a topic a fancy grown-up will ruin with some article that misses the point completely!

Frankly, I feel pretty sure that there is really nothing very subversive in my generation's culture, because of the Internet and because the underdog is now something to market. Based on what I can pull from my school and the Internet, no one wants to spend money on Abercrombie or be a cheerleader; they want to sport geek glasses and Converse. This is a generation where Taylor Swift is weird because she wears glasses and t-shirts.* Demi Lovato is into death metal and Emily Osment makes it a point in every interview to say how much of an outsider she felt at Hannah Montana rehearsals in that ruggedy ole Nirvana t-shirt of hers, and even has a song called "I Hate the Homecoming Queen."** Then people like the star of MTV's My Life as Liz, a self-described "non-conformist thinker," are considered subversive for liking Macs and Star Wars.*** Liz Lee and Taylor Swift both hate the cheerleaders, Liz Lee and Emily Osment and Demi Lovato all like the obscure music.

But wait! That isn't right! Liz is supposed to be the anti-all that stuff! But somehow, popular culture has gotten to a point where you have both the Disney superstar and the ~quirky~ outsider rooting for, trying to be, and promoting the nerdy underdog. And when everyone is the nerdy underdog, no one is the nerdy underdog.

Even so, I'm not ready to let go of hope. Let's say we do get another Sassy. What would it look like? What would be its focuses? Who would be on the cover? What would be the fashion features? Would it succeed at uniting teenage girls as opposed to turning them against each other because GOSH Enemy Of Liz Lee, you are blonde and cheerlead and that means you're an awful person?** Would it, like the original Sassy, put readers' interests before those of advertisers? Would it offer advice without condescending? Would it not do that annoying teen magazine thing where it talks about how photoshop is evil even though the skin of its cover star is most certainly not that of a baby butt? Would it succeed at appealing to boys as well as girls instead of drawing a line of divide composed of cosmetics and horror stores about Cougar Moms? Could it give my generation a group for John Waters that stays weird and un-commercialized?

I don't know what I'm trying to say here. I would like this to happen but it is probably not possible. But hey, if anyone has the answers to those questions above and could figure out how a 10's Sassy would work, I will be the first to read it.

EDIT: This comment from Lapalomita is spot on and I wanted to share:

"[...]What ultimately made Sassy subversive, was that it treats teenage girls like intelligent, capable, interesting people.

So in the end, it doesn't matter of the trends get co-opted by corporate America (as annoying as that is) or if no new subculture emerges for us to look back on fondly down the road (beatniks, hippies, punks, etc.) If you produce a magazine that actively engages girls and women, addresses to their interests & concerns, suggests cool DIY projects (even if they've been done before-- after all what hasn't?), and tells them they are smart & capable, that they can be fashionable and booksmart, that "fashion" is more than x-cookie cutter or a size 0, etc, etc-- that would be radical and subversive. And would empower a whole bunch of girls to feel more comfortable in their skin, their clothes and their smarts."

Oh my goodness! Be in my life now! I think this is the answer right here. I failed to delve into anything about how Sassy realized that the kids these days know what's up far beyond what's happening in the girls' bathroom or on MTV. So I guess that's the answer -- Sassy 2.0 would be subversive not by showcasing the weirdest tastes in music and fashion and books and movies, but by encouraging creativity and confidence and not patronizing. Maybe in that way, a Sassy of today would still hold its rebellious spirit.

*OMG! HOLD THE PHONE! A T-SHIRT! As opposed to a short skirt, which is bad because either a) it's too slutty, b) it's too slutty, or c) OMG TOO MANY SLUTS NOW LET ME GO TO PROM IN A WHITE DRESS BECAUSE THESE SLUTS NEED TO STOP WEARING HIGH HEELS AND SHORT SKIRTS!!!!!!1!!!!

**I know Courtney didn't like the homecoming queen either, but at least had a message that was more profound about the culture around that and not like "God I hate her she's trendy!!1!"

***Unfortunately, in the world of Liz Lee, liking "dorky" things justifies ragging on people simply because these people are blonde and like cheerleading -- in other words, because of their looks and interests.

photos: diy and johnny and kurt/court and miley